But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
