the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
