You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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