The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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