Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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