Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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