I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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