fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
