We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
