Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
