It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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