he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
