I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
