i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
