Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
