I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize