I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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