Will you blow on my dice?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Randomize
