this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
