i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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