He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
