paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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