perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Randomize
