That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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