Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
