yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
