Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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