I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
