On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
