Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
