Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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