Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
