apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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