I cannot find my penis.
You can't special order awesome
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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