She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
