No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
