exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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