i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
