He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
