I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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