Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
