I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
