we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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