So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
