...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
