you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You pole danced in your parka.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
