Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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