Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I wanna passion pit in your ass
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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