Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
