I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
