I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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