I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
