my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
