i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
