Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
