i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
