Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
