Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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