I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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