So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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